Not The Same
by Shinigami Yumi
Summary: Sai introspection and reminiscing during a game between Akira and Hikaru. Shounen-ai hints if you really squint, but otherwise a short vignette on the friendship between Sai, Hikaru and Akira. Please tell me what you think.


**A/N:** Just a very short vignette I wrote for my friend, Dystopia, for Halloween. Enjoy if you would and tell me what you think. I haven't touched this fandom in years because I've been really busy with real life and other fics, but I hope I'm not too rusty. I've also been informed that I've made a mistake with the timeline here, but again, I haven't touched this fandom in years, and Dystopia wanted both Akira/Hikaru and Hikaru/Sai subtext in it. I apologize for my mistake and thank you for reading.

* * *

Clack.

Fujiwara no Sai looked up at their opponent as a stone was placed on an intersection firmly.

Two pairs of green eyes filled with determination, two minds racing through possibilities...always, always connected by a single pursuit mapped out in black and white on the board between them.

It wasn't the same.

How long had it been, since he himself had genuinely been a part of this...since he had felt the smooth slate or shell of each stone on his fingertips, since he had been able to feel the slight resounding tremor up his hand when he placed a stone a little too forcefully upon the polished wooden surface.

Of course, Hikaru often let him play, even with others as long as it wouldn't get them into trouble. But it was difficult not to get noticed, and harder still to find good players without exposing his identity. He silenced a sigh, watching the other boy as another move was played. He envied the relationship the two boys shared, that intense rivalry that would push them both to greater heights than either could ever hope to achieve alone, something he no longer really had. There was the boy's father, of course, but to him, Sai was just a name - faceless and unseen, a ghost lingering around Shindou Hikaru.

It wasn't the same.

The game ended, and he counted to ten as they finalized the score. Hikaru was that half a point short, which wasn't unusual for either of them, and scarcely had he reached "ten" when the argument began. He smiled fondly in spite of his mood. Go players these days were a different kind of passionate, it seemed. Predictably, within five minutes, he was following the Shodan out the door of the Go Salon as the boy stormed out in a huff before halting abruptly 3 streets later.

"...that bit in the middle...grr...I'll even the score next time, Touya, just you watch!" Hikaru griped to himself.

Sai smiled, almost wistfully. The boy was improving quickly. It was hard to deny that he had talent. In just a short time, he had gone from knowing nothing about Go to being a professional. Sure, they practiced a lot, but it helped that Hikaru had talent. Hikaru had time and growth potential, something he no longer possessed.

"Na, Sai?"

He turned to find curious murky green eyes trained on him. "Hm?"

The other seemed to consider something for a moment, then let it pass before saying, "I heard they're showing the Wangwi title match from South Korea on TV tonight. I suppose you'd want to watch?"

The very mention of the game brought a happy smile to his face and a wave of excitement to his incorporeal form. Go was everything, his raison d'etre, and he enthusiastically declared, "Of course!!"

Hikaru laughed, bleached blond bangs swept away from his forehead by the late summer wind, glancing off into the sunset. He'd ended up spending an entire day in the Touya Go Salon again. "Glad to see that still cheers you right up, at least," he remarked a little awkwardly.

Sai blinked, surprised at the rare burst of perceptiveness from the normally clueless youth. He grinned then, moving to give Hikaru a tight hug. "Of course! Go always makes me happy!"

"Nngh, I can't breathe!" Warm hands struggled to pry his ghostly arms away.

He laughed cheerfully, still holding on. Hikaru could live that dream now, the dream that he thought had slipped through his fingers centuries ago. Some days, watching Hikaru grow as a Go player, he thought that the Hand of God was slowly coming within reach. Somehow, he felt almost sure Hikaru would find it someday, perhaps with the Meijin's son's help, and knew he'd be there with him.

It wasn't the same, but as they walked back to the Shindou household together, Fujiwara no Sai thought it wasn't bad at all.


End file.
